i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Watching her eat just hurts me
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
dude. I can hear the air.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
