Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Randomize
