whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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