apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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