Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
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