Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Randomize
