Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
