On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
