dude i'm inner monologue high
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
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