Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
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