I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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