Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize