we're chasing vodka with high fives
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
