And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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