I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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