I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize