Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Randomize
