I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
