very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
