I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
