she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
