She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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