every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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