HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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