What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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