she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
