Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
