hell yes lets make some ravioli
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Randomize
