I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize