at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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