The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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