i think i have two assholes
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I supernannyed him into submission
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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