and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
