Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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