Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
