Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
