So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
