you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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