Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Why did my mother make you get naked?
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
