fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
