It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
