There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
