Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
