we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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