Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Randomize
