i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
