i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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