what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
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