I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Randomize
