Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize