week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
