Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Randomize
