it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
