well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I got inside last night via doggy door
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
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