A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
You dont lie about slip and slides
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
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