Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
