Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
