Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
