like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Randomize
