Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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