She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
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