her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Randomize
